Ask America and Canada
by Eaglestarisawesome5
Summary: "Send us some letters dudes!" "And, um...please remember who I am, eh..." Rated T because I'm paranoid. You may send in slightly suggestive question but no explicit ones.
1. Chapter 1

**Wussup, dudes! *waves* I'm America!**

_And I'm Canada..._

**And this is our thingie where you send us letters! BTW, I will be using bold font and Mattie will be using italics so you dudes can tell us apart.**

_That's actually pretty smart for you, eh._

**Why thank you for acknowledging my awesomeness(oops I sound like that Prussia dude), my loyal brother!**

_So, anyways, ask us some stuff! Oh, well, if you want to._


	2. Chapter 2

"Wazzup, everyone!" America smiled, waving to the camera. "We've got a new style for writing, whatdaya think?" He posed for the camera.

"I think it's stupid..." Canada whispered.

"What was that? Speak up!"

"Nothing..."

"Anyways, time to read letters!" America pulled out a stack of letters and sifted through, pulling out one of them. "First letter! It's from...Rosalia Cullen! Nice name." He ripped open the letter and unfolded the paper.

_Dear America and Canada,_

_Question : Are you two dating? You totally should, dudes! It would be, like, the most bomb thing ever! ... I mean, only if you want to._

Canada and America both blushed a bit at this. Then America grinned and turned to Canada. "You know, I have always had a thing for incest." he purred. Canada blushed harder and hid his face. America turned back to the camera. "I guess that means yes! So, yes! Hehe, look he's so cute when he's embarrassed." Canada was sitting on the couch with his knees to his chest, blushing and smiling a bit.

"Alright, next letter!" America pulled out another letter from the batch. "This one is from...Changing States!"

_Dear America and Canada,_

_I HAVE A QUESTION!  
What do both of you (yes, you too Canada!) think of Justin Bieber?  
(I honestly can't stand the dude or his music...)_

America grabbed the camera in both hands and shook it a bit. "DON'T SAY HIS NAME HE'LL HEAR YOU!" he squeaked. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, making America scream and drop the camera. It clattered to the floor so it had a view of the hallway and the front door.

"IT'S HIM! IT'S HIM, I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY HIS NAME!" America shrieked in a high-pitched voice. Canada sighed and went to the door. "It's not Justin Bieber, it's just the mailman." Canada reassured him, looking through the window.

"JUSTIN BIEBER'S DISGUISED AS OUR MAILMAN?!"

"What am I supposed to do with you..." Canada sighed. He opened the door, got the mail, quieted a shrieking America, and set the camera back up. "Sorry about that, viewers. As for me, I'm kind of disappointed with my people for creating him, eh. Let's open the next letter." Canada grabbed another letter and, instead of using America's method of just ripping off the top, he used a letter opener. "It's from Creator-Of-Nightmare."

"Ooo, spooky name!" America chuckled. "Hand me the letter!" Canada obliged and America unfolded the paper.

_Dear America,_

_Ok...how does America react to reading snapped canada? _

"What's snapped Canada? What does that mean?" He looked to Canada, and was suddenly confused when he saw his brother's trembling form. His purpleish eyes were wide behind his glasses and he looked utterly terrified.

"You OK, dude?" America asked. Canada didn't respond.

"_Oh god...Never again..._" he whispered to himself. America shrugged and moved on to the rest of the letter.

_And another question for america, what do you think of tha pairing russiaxamerica? I dont ship it but I thought It would be funny to see your response xD_

"Wait, pairing? Does that mean like lo-...EWWWWW! EWEWEWEWEWEWEW, YOU'RE A SICK PERSON AAAAAAAAAHHH OH GOD NOW I'M THINKING ABOUT IT WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" America shrieked, rolling around on the floor in a panic. Canada had recovered from his earlier phase and gently patted America's back to comfort him.

"I-I'll just read the rest of the letter..." Canada finally breathed, having calmed America down to an extent. America was now curled up on the floor with his thumb in his mouth, whimpering faintly.

_*leaves a burger and maple syrup*  
Proud canadian BTW xD go canada!_

"Well...th-thank you!" Canada smiled and blushed, looking sheepish. Then he picked up a box that came with the package and opened it. "And thank you for the syrup! America, she left a burger for you!" Canada called across the room. America slowly got up and walked to his brother, snatching the burger and nomming it with an expression that resembled a pouty toddler. "Fine...this is the only reason I forgive you..." he grumbled. "Next letter."

Canada opened another letter. "It's from insane-assylum13."

"I feel like I should recognize that name...eh, whatever, let's read the letter."

_Dear America and Canada,_

_Canada: sorry but, who do you like romantically from these people; Russia, Prussia, Cuba, France, Netherlands, Ukraine or France?_

America: Who do YOU like romantically from THESE people; England, Japan, Russia or Belarus?

Hasta la pasta!  
(flies away on Bob the unicorn)

Canada and America were both blushing.

"She said France twice..." Canada noted silently. "Um..." He looked at America, who gave him puppy dog eyes. "America, I can't choose you." America went into pout mode again. "I...g-guess...Prussia? I had a crush on him at one point...b-but he likes Austria! Not me." Canada quickly added when America glared at him.

"OK, my turn. I liked Belarus when I was younger, but now I realized that I'm gay and apparently in love with my own brother. There, case closed." He turned, still being pouty, and sat down on the arm of the couch, arms crossed.

"OK...w-well, we're both kind of tired and a little freaked out at some of the questions, so we're going to end it here. Good night everyone!"

Then the camera was turned off.


	3. Chapter 3

"H-hi guys!" Canada smiled to the camera. America waved in the background, munching on a pile of burgers. "I have some news, eh. We will now be taking dares and instead of reading the letters in order, I put them in a big pile and will pick randomly."

"Let's get on with it, I have a meeting with the Awesome Trio in 30 minutes!" America shouted through a mouthful of burger.

"Ok, Ok, America. Calm down." Canada leaned forwards and pecked America's forehead. "You won't be late. I'll get the first letter."

Canada reached into the pile and pulled out a random letter, slicing it open with a small pocketknife. "This one is from Sweet Nothing."

_Dear America and Canada,_

_Hi America :D Ok, my question for you is: What do you think about Barack Obama getting re-elected for president?_  
_Canada, my question for you is: What were you thinking when you created Justin Bieber? XD LOL__  
_

"Eh, I think it's OK as long as he doesn't cause a big economy crisis or a war or something." America shrugged.

"I didn't create Justin Bieber!" Canada huffed. "My people did! I have no control over what they do! So ask them." He turned away from the camera, crossing his arms. After a moment, he realized he had to open the next letter, quickly doing so. "It's another letter from insane-assylum13."

_Dear America and Canada,_

_Oops! I didn't mean to say France twice! DX Fail!  
America: Giripan or Inglopan?  
Canada: *Hugs* you're awesome! dont forget it!  
*smiles & dissolves*_

Canada blushed a bit and looked away. "Th-thank you...that's weird, I felt like I was just hugged..."

"Must've been a feeling. And Mattie, can you quick look up what GiriPan and IngloPan are?" America gulped down another burger and nearly choked.

"One of these days you're going to kill yourself..." Canada shook his head and moved to the computer. After a minute, he beckoned America over to see. America blushed deeply and shivered, then composed himself, walking over to the camera. "I...g-guess GiriPan. I could see that happening and they _have_ been spending a lot of time together lately. Next letter!" He grabbed a letter and ripped it open. "From Vampchick2010. Sweet!"

_Dear America and Canada,_

_hiya you two. Vamp here *smiles showing her fangs*  
anyway, i have a question or two._

America why are you always referring to your self as the hero? I am just curious.

Canada, my question for you is how are you doing after that fire? A friend of mine witnessed it from across a lake.

"Huh? What kind of question is that?! You don't just go around asking superheroes why they're heroes!" America crossed his arms and made a pouty face. "But I'll answer it. I'm _obviously_ the hero because I do heroic stuff and save people and I have a power!"

"Power? What power?" Canada questioned.

America grabbed Canada around the waist and hefted him into the air with one finger. "Superstrength! Duh!" He grinned, setting down the shaken Canadian. "Mattie, you got a question."

"Oh, OK. This thing is making people notice me a lot more." he commented. "And I'm doing fine. I was in pain for a while, kind of a burning pain, but I'm OK now." He grabbed another letter from the pile and opened it. "This one is from 24gamefreak."

_Dear America and Canada,_

_Canada, what is your view on the war of 1812? Also I would like to know your favorite color and time of year...you know season?_

_America, sup dude! Anyway same questions for you and also what is your favorite non-fastfood related meal?_

_*Hugs both awesome countries* w yay!_

Both Canada and America stopped and looked at the letter, staring at the words 'war of 1812'. Canada looked sad and turned his head, but America was biting his lip as if he was in pain. "I...th-think we should try out the flashback feature on the camera for this one..." America breathed. Canada nodded and flipped a switch on the camera. The screen went white, then suddenly faded to the White House. The building was smothered in flames, slowly licking their way around all corners of the building. Two men were in front of it. One lay on his back, clutching his side in pain. The other stood over him, as if dominating him. The man on the ground lifted his head to reveal his bright blue eyes, streaked with tears. His blonde hair was caked with dirt and blood, the small cowlick that stuck out from it drooping at an angle. He was breathing hard and winced every time part of the burning building collapsed. The man standing over him had blonde hair as well, but his green eyes glowed with malicious intent. His bushy eyebrows furrowed when the other man rolled over, staring him straight in the eye. Blue eyes bursting with agony, green eyes just barely flickering with the tiniest bits of emotion.

Suddenly, loud footsteps ran towards the two. The man on the ground, using the little strength he had left, turned to see his blonde brother bounding towards him, that curl in his hair bouncing with every step. He skidded to a stop next to the green-eyed man and looked down. His purplish eyes swam with pity. Then, he suddenly bit his lip and clenched his fists, turning away. The man on the ground reached out, but his brother was already walking away. His steps were painfully slow and he tightened his grip on the rifle in his hand. He left him. The other man also turned, strolling away and leaving a crushing feeling of contempt behind him. The blonde man bit his lip as more tears ran down his bloody cheeks. He closed his eyes. They were gone.

The screen faded to white again and back to America's house. America sat on the couch, head hung. Canada sat next to him, a hand on his back. "Let's just...answer the other questions." Canada sighed. "My favorite colors are red and white and I like the autumn. It's when the maple leaves are the prettiest."

America suddenly leapt to his feet, back to his old self. "My favorite colors are red, white, and blue! And I like the summer! And mac-n-cheese if I can't eat fast food, which would be DEVASTATING!" he announced. Canada smiled a bit and shook his head. "What am I going to do with you..."

"OK, that's all the letters for today! Peace out, viewers!" America made a peace sign to the camera and turned it off.

**BACKSTAGE SCENE(or just the scene where they accidentally turned the camera on)**

America and Canada sat on the couch, watching TV in the dark. The time was 9:37 P.M. "You know," America piped up suddenly, making Canada jump. "I learned something today."

"And what's that?"

"Never eat 57 burgers before a meeting. Especially the ones that give you gas for some reason."

Canada chuckled. "And you're feeling better now, right?"

"Of course! But I got banned from the Awesome Trio for a week."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Well...a week is a long enough time."

"Long enough for what?"

"This." Canada hopped on top of America, pinning him to the couch. He pressed his lips to the blonde's fiercely, forcing his tongue inside. America's eyes went wide, then relaxed as he melted into the kiss. The kiss held out for a long while, then the two retracted only when their lungs desperately needed air. America smiled up at his lover/brother, panting a bit. One gloved hand snaked down and groped a spot on the Canadian where most men wouldn't dare to go. Canada's face exploded in red and he shivered from the touch. His lips slammed into America's again with a faint moan and he explored the dark cavern as long as he could. Then, when he pulled back, something caught his eye...

"America...why is the camera on?"

"...oh shit."


End file.
